universalis | IC: EVENT

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IC: EVENT

A TERRIBLE THING IS HAPPENING

reference books detailing myths and legends stolen from libraries...
wikipedia pages wiped clean from the face of the internet...
ancient stained glass windows smashed and destroyed...
historical research centers burnt to the ground...

Someone out there is trying very, very hard to erase all of the possible sources of power and belief of the ancient gods and goddesses. And it hurts. Whilst the powers of the minders are unharmed by the attacks, the gods and goddesses will be certainly feeling the toll: it's now painfully clear that even the simplest of miracles are now becoming almost impossible to perform.

deities, you had better have gifted your minders with some decent blessings! Because now you're going to rely on them more than ever. Someone is out to get you.

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TO: [ ——— ]

hickory dickory dock
the deities ran up the clock
the british library struck one
the deities got fucking horrible headaches
hickory dickory dock

happy hour has begun, ladies and gents
if you can find me i will buy your first two rounds

[Hermes groans when he gets the text, shaking his head and sending one right back.]

To: [Loki]

Loki, we're friends, I like you. My bossman and the rest of my family? Not really a huge fan of you or yours. If you're behind this for the love of everything tell me so I can try to find a safe way around this that doesn't end with a fucking war.

PS if this was you I'm going to kick you in the nuts next time I see you just f y i.

Also if this is just a shitstir be wary because everyone and their moms dogs are coming after you. Not all of us can take a joke.

Plus two more kicks to the nuts btw.

TO: [ hermes ]

i swear on my pretty face it was not me.
i, like everyone else, enjoy a little bit of mischief now and then, but i am not into kamikaze tactics.

leave the family jewels alone.

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TO: [ LMnop ]

I like how you just managed to effectively buttdial an entire panmythological little black book.
Consider the bar raised.

TO: [ pooh bear ]

i try my best
xoxo

[ Then, momentarily: ]

TO: [ pooh bear ]

are you coming for drinks or not
THIS IS NOT AN OPEN-ENDED ENGAGEMENT

TO: [ LMnop ]

So it wasn't so much throwing down a gauntlet as letting it slip haphazardly out of your hands.
Which is it: happy hour or hide and seek?

Pretty easy, putting a finger on a sitting target.
Or, in this case, a throughly sloshed one.

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TO: [Loki]

You did this.

TO: [ frigg ]

good god, there's a lot of finger-pointing going on.
i'm only going to say this once, so take careful note:
it was NOT me.

[Oh. Like she believes that.]

TO: [Loki]

Then what was the purpose of that message, if not to brag? I take solace in the knowledge your wife and possibly your children are suffering for this stunt.

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TO: [ loki ]
classy. snaps for you. but seriously, is this your little practical joke?

TO: [ addie ]

has someone made a formal accusation or is everyone thinking this is my responsibility a sheer coincidence?
in brief: i had no hand in this.

TO: [ loki ]
look, i like the style, but the joke looks like you're staking a claim to me. /not/ surprised if they asked the same. still buying?

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corruptible - 2012-02-10 08:01 (UTC) - Expand

come sign me out of this fucking hospital, they won't believe me when i say i'm fine

[Sigyn? Hasn't used profanity since the Great Depression. Good times.]

TO: [ the wife ]

give me an address and i'll be right there, dearheart.

Edited 2012-02-10 07:55 (UTC)

New York Presbytarian on W 168th. be safe, love.

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TO: [Daddy]

dad are you ok. fen and jor wont answer me

[Wow, texting with a high fever is hard. Humanity kind of sucks.]

TO: [ helly ]

i'm alright. not great, but i don't think i can ask for much more at the moment.
i'll find out what's up with fen and jor; you sit tight.

TO: [Daddy]

cant do much else. legs stopped working thank u. also i think sigyn got hurt 2

TO: [ mr. pain in my nonexistent eye ]

make it three and i'll consider it.

[ odin knows better than to think loki did it. he may exist to be a thorn in everyone's side, but this effects everyone, not just him and the other pantheons. still, it annoys him to get this text if only because it makes him wonder who it is then. ]

and ease up on the nursery rhymes. they're poor examples of poetry. makes you look idiotic.

TO: [ patches ]

three it is, then.

and i'll go for some whitman the next time we're in a tight spot, shall i?

TO: [ loki ]

you did not just do that. please tell me you did not just do that.

TO: [ kieran ]

He's having a bad day.

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TO: [ kiery ]

i

yes

no

MAYBE

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To: [Loki]

when did you get my number not up to leaving japan, but damnit I'm drinking also your rhymes fucking suck

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