Alfie Solomons (
devoutish) wrote in
snowblindrpg2017-07-31 10:07 pm
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Entry tags:
- *network,
- *open,
- alfie solomons (peaky blinders),
- america (hetalia),
- billy kaplan (marvel comics),
- davesprite (homestuck),
- death the kid (soul eater),
- dorian pavus (dragon age),
- ecks (original),
- england (hetalia),
- enoch (el shaddai),
- ginger hale (original),
- gregory house (house md),
- john watson (bbc sherlock),
- karkat vantas (homestuck),
- manuel laurin (world of darkness),
- mycroft holmes (bbc sherlock),
- royce melborn (riyria revelations),
- stephen strange (mcu),
- sylar (heroes),
- the cat (tortall universe),
- vanitas (kingdom hearts)
[network] @ASolomons; audio, morning of 265 [open]
The fuck is going on?
[He sounds exhausted, as per usual, and his voice is hoarse and raw - he's been doing a lot of non-stop talking these past few days, trying to keep Royce engaged.]
Right - the lot of you, sound off. What happened, and what needs to be done?
[He sounds exhausted, as per usual, and his voice is hoarse and raw - he's been doing a lot of non-stop talking these past few days, trying to keep Royce engaged.]
Right - the lot of you, sound off. What happened, and what needs to be done?
@Enoch, voice (late; Day 265)
I'm so sorry...
@ASolomons; audio
audio
As if I'd never moved.
audio
[So it's a pattern, then, with people on both sides - likely one that everyone's followed.]
What do you think, hallucination?
audio cw: suicidal ideations-ish...?
[Exceedingly laconic, for Enoch. Everything takes too much energy. Talking takes too much energy. If breathing wasn't involuntary he'd have stopped doing that, too. Everything hurts, everything seems to sap the life out of him, even the things he needs to live at all.]
Does it matter? It was real enough.
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I don't feel as if I haven't moved for four days.
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I don't know anymore.
[The very first person that comes to mind was in those cells. Everyone else he can think of was, too, or was connected to one of them. Are they still his friends?]
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@wiccandoit, audio
[ It's probably the least enthusiastic bit of reassurance Billy's ever delivered, but he is trying. ]
Everyone gets that.
audio
I know. It still happened. I still hurt you.
[It's so painful it physically hurts, but he manages to dredge up the motivation to keep talking. Billy deserves more than that.]
So I'm still sorry. And it doesn't mean you must forgive me.
Re: audio
[ He's still in a cold sweat from hearing Enoch's voice again, though, and his hands are tight around his tablet. ]
It wasn't you.
audio
[He cuts himself off in a shivering sob. He's going to work himself into another panicked meltdown at this rate. At least it's not the same unnerving high spirits he had as a convert.]
I'm sorry. This is all you know of me. I'm sorry.
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He's not able to give up, though; he's not capable of it when faced with someone else's pain. So he sucks in a breath and tries his best to sound calm and reassuring. ]
I - not just this. I know what you're saying right now. I see how it's messing you up. That means something, too.
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Eventually, his mind finds a thought that doesn't invoke sobbing before he can speak it.]
I owe you...anything. Everything. I'll do whatever I can.
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[ Billy realizes how harsh that sounds the moment it leaves his mouth and he wants to take it back, magic away the last five minutes so he can try again. All he can do, though, is tak a deep breath and press on. ]
-I mean, you don't owe me anything. For all we know it could've just as easily been the other way around.
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I...I still want- if you think of anything, anything at all that could...
[Help? Set things right? There is no helping what has been done and no righting this, is there? The thought of it acts as its own censor to his mind that won't otherwise, and he dissolves into tears again.]
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@jwatson; audio; private
Enoch, you were as much a victim here as anyone else. You were forced to do what you did and it's okay to be sorry for what happened, but you understand this wasn't your fault, right?
audio; private
[And then it's gone, that extra strength.]
It- it still happened. They're still hurt.
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[Being helpful about things that aren't his brainwashing itself. He can do that. It's draining, still, like everything else, but it's better than trying again and again to articulate why he can't brush this aside.]
It was too far away to see.
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[His throat closes up. Rhys...]
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I threw myself against the panel.
[Not really impressive or dignified, and he feels as if it accomplished nothing.]
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private; I'm sorry for how one-note he is right now
private; no worries!
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private > private video
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Re: private
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