warriorscribe: (Pain of doubt)

@Enoch, voice (late; Day 265)

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-01 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
[He wants to say something useful. He should say something useful. But there's only one thing on his mind. It's weak and hollow and backed by pathetic little sobs that are themselves weakened, as if he's lacking the energy to even cry anymore.]

I'm so sorry...
warriorscribe: (If you say so...)

audio

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-01 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
[There's no response for a good while, just wet breathing and the rustle of his clothes as he shifts position. He hasn't abandoned the conversation, however:]

As if I'd never moved.
warriorscribe: (Slipping resolve)

audio cw: suicidal ideations-ish...?

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-01 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't know.

[Exceedingly laconic, for Enoch. Everything takes too much energy. Talking takes too much energy. If breathing wasn't involuntary he'd have stopped doing that, too. Everything hurts, everything seems to sap the life out of him, even the things he needs to live at all.]

Does it matter? It was real enough.
warriorscribe: (Slipping resolve)

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-02 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't say anything for a while, again. Maybe Alfie has part of some other conversation in the meantime, while the only sound from Enoch's end is that of him quietly crying.]

I don't feel as if I haven't moved for four days.
warriorscribe: (Seed of turmoil)

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-02 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He wanted to help! But...but, no, when the first thing out of his mouth is the first thing he feels and he can't work up the energy to say too much at once...he can't.]

I don't know anymore.

[The very first person that comes to mind was in those cells. Everyone else he can think of was, too, or was connected to one of them. Are they still his friends?]

(no subject)

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-02 23:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-05 23:55 (UTC) - Expand
fanboyascended: (32)

@wiccandoit, audio

[personal profile] fanboyascended 2017-08-01 09:43 am (UTC)(link)
It... wasn't you.

[ It's probably the least enthusiastic bit of reassurance Billy's ever delivered, but he is trying. ]

Everyone gets that.
warriorscribe: (Must it be?)

audio

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-01 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh. So that's his username.]

I know. It still happened. I still hurt you.

[It's so painful it physically hurts, but he manages to dredge up the motivation to keep talking. Billy deserves more than that.]

So I'm still sorry. And it doesn't mean you must forgive me.
fanboyascended: (17)

Re: audio

[personal profile] fanboyascended 2017-08-06 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it doesn't. I'm trying to tell myself there's nothing to forgive, because there's not.

[ He's still in a cold sweat from hearing Enoch's voice again, though, and his hands are tight around his tablet. ]

It wasn't you.
warriorscribe: (Must it be?)

audio

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-07 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
I know. I know... It used me, me, my mind.

[He cuts himself off in a shivering sob. He's going to work himself into another panicked meltdown at this rate. At least it's not the same unnerving high spirits he had as a convert.]

I'm sorry. This is all you know of me. I'm sorry.
fanboyascended: (19)

[personal profile] fanboyascended 2017-08-12 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Billy doesn't hang up, but it takes him a long while to work through his response. He doesn't want to comfort this man, not when this whole conversation makes him feel like he's drowning.

He's not able to give up, though; he's not capable of it when faced with someone else's pain. So he sucks in a breath and tries his best to sound calm and reassuring. ]


I - not just this. I know what you're saying right now. I see how it's messing you up. That means something, too.
warriorscribe: (Silhouette)

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-12 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[And that he's getting comfort from the man he tortured feels horribly selfish. His thoughts twist in on themselves, heavy self-loathing crowding out any comfort he might actually have been able to take. It takes him a while more to speak, because every time he attempts to say again how he feels, compelled by his death price, it's cut off in bitter tears.

Eventually, his mind finds a thought that doesn't invoke sobbing before he can speak it.]

I owe you...anything. Everything. I'll do whatever I can.
fanboyascended: (19)

[personal profile] fanboyascended 2017-08-21 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't want anything from you.

[ Billy realizes how harsh that sounds the moment it leaves his mouth and he wants to take it back, magic away the last five minutes so he can try again. All he can do, though, is tak a deep breath and press on. ]

-I mean, you don't owe me anything. For all we know it could've just as easily been the other way around.
warriorscribe: (I'm sorry but...)

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-22 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[He flinches - not really audible save a catch in his breath that might be mistaken for an attempt to keep tears quiet.]

I...I still want- if you think of anything, anything at all that could...

[Help? Set things right? There is no helping what has been done and no righting this, is there? The thought of it acts as its own censor to his mind that won't otherwise, and he dissolves into tears again.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] fanboyascended - 2017-08-27 09:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-28 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] fanboyascended - 2017-09-02 04:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-02 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] fanboyascended - 2017-09-02 09:53 (UTC) - Expand
jumpthegun: (confused | earnest)

@jwatson; audio; private

[personal profile] jumpthegun 2017-08-02 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, this is a great addition to Enoch's depression issues. Bloody hell.]

Enoch, you were as much a victim here as anyone else. You were forced to do what you did and it's okay to be sorry for what happened, but you understand this wasn't your fault, right?
warriorscribe: (Silhouette)

audio; private

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-03 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I know. You can- [his voice breaks, but sounds less pained for just one sentence] - you can thank Beckett for that- helping remind me.

[And then it's gone, that extra strength.]

It- it still happened. They're still hurt.
jumpthegun: (srs | empathy)

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun 2017-08-06 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it did. But all we can do is move forward from that and try to figure out what happened so that we can stop it happening again. You saw some sort of computer, right? Up on the top floor. Do you remember anything about it, particularly?
warriorscribe: (Puppy-saint)

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-07 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
Don't remember anything.

[Being helpful about things that aren't his brainwashing itself. He can do that. It's draining, still, like everything else, but it's better than trying again and again to articulate why he can't brush this aside.]

It was too far away to see.
jumpthegun: (confused | from a book)

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun 2017-08-09 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm... but you saw some sort of eye up there. That's what Davesprite said he 'saw' with whatever sense they gave to him in there.
warriorscribe: (Seed of turmoil)

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-10 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
The symbol of the Prophet, painted on the wall. Much larger than the others. Would have tried to take someone up to record, but-...

[His throat closes up. Rhys...]
jumpthegun: (srs | empathy)

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun 2017-08-12 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
The fact that you got up there at all is really impressive, Enoch. No one else was able to do that.
warriorscribe: (Subtle stirrings)

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe 2017-08-13 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Ha... [A humorless attempt at a chuckle.]

I threw myself against the panel.

[Not really impressive or dignified, and he feels as if it accomplished nothing.]

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-08-17 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-18 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-08-21 07:34 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-21 23:27 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-08-24 07:42 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-24 22:55 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-08-25 19:46 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-25 22:35 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-08-26 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-08-27 21:08 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-01 03:32 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-02 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-04 19:00 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-05 03:47 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-08 00:57 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-08 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-09 01:04 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-09 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-09 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-09 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-09 04:31 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-09 04:50 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-12 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-12 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-13 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-13 03:31 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-15 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-16 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-16 04:15 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-16 22:12 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-20 04:59 (UTC) - Expand

private; no worries!

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-23 17:57 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-25 05:02 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-28 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-09-28 05:23 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-09-30 19:15 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-10-01 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

private > private video

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-10-04 02:32 (UTC) - Expand

private audio

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-10-04 04:39 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-10-07 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-10-07 04:28 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-10-07 19:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: private

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-10-08 18:36 (UTC) - Expand

private

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-10-15 16:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] warriorscribe - 2017-10-15 22:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] jumpthegun - 2017-10-15 22:59 (UTC) - Expand