Selphie Tilmitt (
boomchucka) wrote in
melodiesoflife2016-05-11 09:25 pm
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Entry tags:
(no subject)
Who: Selphie, Yuri and open to housemates
What: Lil' Miss Sunshine isn't so sunny lately and could use some cheering up.
Where: Team Hijinks House
When: May 3rd
Warnings: n/a First thread chronologically goes to Yuri for dragging Selphie out of her room.
When they'd finally arrived back in the relative safety of their house in Aqures Ixen, Selphie promptly made a beeline directly for her bed. She was still feeling the drain from the excessive amount of magic she'd cast trying to save the life of one woman. One life she couldn't save. One life that she'd wanted to save with all her being and it hadn't worked out. She'd never had to use her own mana before to cast magic and the exhaustion had hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't remember falling asleep on their way back to Aqures Ixen and had walked quietly with the rest of her friends back to the house they called home.
Coming home did nothing to make the feeling of failure go away. No matter how many lives she may have potentially saved back home during the war meant nothing in the eyes of that little boy who lost his mother that day. Another child had to go without their mother and it gnashed at Selphie's heart as she'd crumpled into her bed after peeling out of her clothes. Not even Jaelyn's concerned voice could rouse Selphie for a good day.
That was two days ago. When she'd woken up feeling human, Jaelyn had urged Selphie to eat something only to be met with an apathetic shrug as the perky brunette rolled over in bed and cried for the life that she couldn't save. It weighed heavily on her heart and mind. It left her wondering if she'd only trained harder, maybe she could've saved that woman.
It left Selphie broken inside and more than a little conflicted. Loss of life came with being a hero but it was something that the perky brunette would never get used to. For now, Selphie was at least sitting up in bed, staring at her hands while trying to be as small as possible in her pajama bottoms and an oversized hoodie.
One more life that she couldn't save on top of the dozens of others from back home.
Some hero of light she turned out to be.
Jaelyn hovered outside of Selphie's door after having been forced out for trying to coax her companion out of her room to eat something. The moogle was concerned for the girl who was far from herself and refused to talk about what happened.
"You have to come out sometime, Selphie," Jaelyn pleaded with no response.
What: Lil' Miss Sunshine isn't so sunny lately and could use some cheering up.
Where: Team Hijinks House
When: May 3rd
Warnings: n/a First thread chronologically goes to Yuri for dragging Selphie out of her room.
When they'd finally arrived back in the relative safety of their house in Aqures Ixen, Selphie promptly made a beeline directly for her bed. She was still feeling the drain from the excessive amount of magic she'd cast trying to save the life of one woman. One life she couldn't save. One life that she'd wanted to save with all her being and it hadn't worked out. She'd never had to use her own mana before to cast magic and the exhaustion had hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't remember falling asleep on their way back to Aqures Ixen and had walked quietly with the rest of her friends back to the house they called home.
Coming home did nothing to make the feeling of failure go away. No matter how many lives she may have potentially saved back home during the war meant nothing in the eyes of that little boy who lost his mother that day. Another child had to go without their mother and it gnashed at Selphie's heart as she'd crumpled into her bed after peeling out of her clothes. Not even Jaelyn's concerned voice could rouse Selphie for a good day.
That was two days ago. When she'd woken up feeling human, Jaelyn had urged Selphie to eat something only to be met with an apathetic shrug as the perky brunette rolled over in bed and cried for the life that she couldn't save. It weighed heavily on her heart and mind. It left her wondering if she'd only trained harder, maybe she could've saved that woman.
It left Selphie broken inside and more than a little conflicted. Loss of life came with being a hero but it was something that the perky brunette would never get used to. For now, Selphie was at least sitting up in bed, staring at her hands while trying to be as small as possible in her pajama bottoms and an oversized hoodie.
One more life that she couldn't save on top of the dozens of others from back home.
Some hero of light she turned out to be.
Jaelyn hovered outside of Selphie's door after having been forced out for trying to coax her companion out of her room to eat something. The moogle was concerned for the girl who was far from herself and refused to talk about what happened.
"You have to come out sometime, Selphie," Jaelyn pleaded with no response.
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[Flynn is outside her door. He knows she hasn't moved. He was having a tough time dealing with it, too, but orphans had to stick together, right?]
Would you like some?
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Sure, if you don't mind me being a little damp.
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[He holds out the bag. There are some sweet breads and savory breads, and one has a hot dog in it!]
How are you holding up?
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[Relax, she's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. She reaches a hand inside and pulls out the melonpan and cups it carefully in both hands.]
I'm gonna need a glass of milk.
As for how she's doing, she'll lie to you. She's had a bad couple nights.
[Selphie shoots a withering look inthr direction of her moogle but doesn't deny the answer.]
Eh... Well... I've been ratted out by a moogle.
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[Flynn magically procures a glass of milk in his other hand and offers it to Selphie.]
Just as long as you don't ask any of us to leave your side.
If it was your aim to make me wibble you succeeded
Thank you, Flynn.
[She takes a bite of the melonpan and makes a happy noise.]
Yum!
my aim is a lot of things, but good is never one of them
And if you don't want to talk... well, words aren't the only way to communicate how you feel.
[He smiles as he holds out the bag again to see if Selphie wanted seconds for later.]
Great? Fantastic? idkmybffjill?
Selphie let her head drop, her bangs covering her eyes as the guilt she'd felt after not being able to save the Mother came bubbling back up.]
I've... never watched someone die right in front of me. If I'd had better magic, I could've saved her. If I...
[Her shoulders started shaking again, guilt mixing with shame at her own powerlessness.]
If I'd been stronger she'd still be here!
[She's lying to herself again because even she knew that there was nothing they could do.]
having a jill aim sounds dirty somehow, but i'm not entirely sure how it'd work
[Flynn placed the bag down, and firmly grasped Selphie's shoulders in his hands.]
You already know this isn't true. Bargaining doesn't do anyone any good!
[His teeth are clenched. The woman reminded him of Estelle so damn much.]
We may not have been able to save her, but... at least she didn't have to leave this life without anyone witnessing her final moments.
[His voice becomes solemn.]
Can you imagine a fate worse than going into death in loneliness?
me neither because now I'm just plain confused @.@
It's hard to answer that question.
[Selphie's next statement is firm but comes out in a small voice.]
Nobody deserved to die like that...
maybe it's a metaphor for life. it sounds dirrty but it's just confusing.
[Flynn sighs, and takes a seat on a chair.]
Would you feel better if we never had to witness her death? If we weren't there to even try anything?
Flynn should be a therapist or something.
Of course she couldn't have seen that and not done anything. It goes against her moral code.]
I'm not the kinda person who just abandons someone because they're a lost cause, Flynn. We still had to try. We couldn't have let that slide. SeeDs don't give up and don't you forget it.
[She's taken back by her own words and rubs the back of her head in embarrassment.]
I guess I should take my own advice huh?
sorry, might be me bleeding into him. mom studied psychology and tested her knowledge out on me
[Flynn smiled.]
Being a pillar of support for everyone else is fine, but who then is the support for the pillar? Don't forget, we're all here for you. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel angry, be angry. And when it's all over with, you can smile and laugh to the fullest extent without anything fettering you.
and yet it's totally something he'd say
Then... How do I move forward after what happened? I've never seen so many people just freeze up like that.
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If you would have done anything differently, do you think you can put yourself in the mind set to see if things could be done in another manner in the future?
There will always be sacrifices and regrets, but we cannot let those be in vain. The ticket to the future is blank, meaning you can go anywhere. Make sure it's somewhere better from here on out.
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It's hard to just accept what happened but that's about all we can do.
It also means that I need to put more effort into training.
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[Flynn sighs.]
And whatever areas you feel you are short, that's why we have comrades who can pick us up on their shoulders.
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[Selphie looks at Flynn earnestly at his mention of shortcomings.]
Then... can you help me get better at handling swords then? I think I've gotten better but if I can only guard the back line than I'm not good enough.
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You mean it? You really, really mean it?
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[His head tilts as he smiles.]
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When do we start?
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I warn you, I'm a strict teacher. No whining allowed.
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Ah, I've had strict teachers before so... it'll work out.
[Yes Flynn, you may be subjected to raspberries being blown your way more than once.]