meadowlark | @ian.fowler | morningstar network

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@ian.fowler | morningstar network

Hey
Stop me if this is a stupid offer, I'm still trying to figure out how this whole thing works, but
I heard about the whole gate problem, and the whole simulation thing, there's probably more going on too that I don't know about yet
I'm an engineer
You guys might already have a few, but just in case you're shorthanded
If there's anything I can do to help, I want to

I can also apparently do a weird tools thing now so that's
something

edit: if anyone's in the market for crazy experiments in there
you guys glitch the sim when you do your chest thing, right?
anyone tried organizing a group glow-off? overwhelm the system with too much at once, DDOS it into crashing?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i don't think the gates are machinery or whatever
please fuck up the simulation though
i'm going nuts

Yeah, I tried glowing at them too but apparently I don't glow hard enough or something

Unfortunately I'm not quite up to par with manipulating futuristic neural implant mesh technology because either I smoked too much pot in college or because it's way beyond what we had when I'm from

I take it you're stuck in there

yeah
and maybe you're not up to date with the neural implant tech because it fucking sucks
what do you mean you didn't glow hard enough?

apparently it didn't work
might have been one of those 'clap your hands if you believe in faeries' situations but I didn't clap enough and Tinkerbell died

more realistically it's gonna take something else to get them powered again, but I'll accept constructive criticism if it's failure to glow

i don't know
you're going to have to catch me up
were you trying to activate it to get somewhere? new amsterdam?

oh shit
I might not be the best person to explain it since I have about 15% of an idea of what the problem is but
apparently the gates you guys use are shut down or locked or something
they're having a hard time getting into amsterdam
we tried to captain planet them back online, you know where like everyone goes to a gate and then believes in the power of love really hard

anyway, it didn't work

oh
well of course it's not that easy
we're going for maximum suffering here apparently
but that was a pretty good description for someone who doesn't know what the problem is

would you believe I just made up a bunch of words and through sheer statistical anomaly they turned out to be the right ones

pretend i'm making a monkeys on typewriters joke
opening the gates the first time was some serious kumbaya bullshit though

you say that like it's a bad thing, but I gotta tell you, kumbaya shit was kind of my specialty
I minored in it in college

I still know how to play Wonderwall

I'm practically made for this place

wait
are you talking about kumbaya shit as in music or kumbaya shit as in let's all hold hands and cry together?

if you drop enough acid they're the same thing

oh my god
what can you play wonderwall on?

i think you know
deep down in your heart
you know what i can play wonderwall on

the kazoo
duh
record yourself and send it to me so i don't lose my mind

[ it takes two hours and forty-five minutes. ]

ian.fowler would like to send you an attachment, would you like to upload now?

videofile01.mp3

holy shit
this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me
did it take you two and a half hours to find a kazoo?

it's like you're psychic
who would've known that it wasn't the fossil fuel industry we should have been braced for, it was the impending kazoo scarcity

I personally blame that time ExxonMobil spilled 250,000 gallons of oil into the golf of mexico and the consequent near-extinction of the kazoo species, but that's probably a controversial conspiracy theory

did you do kazoo conservation back home?

I consider it a personal failing that I wasn't socially aware of the kazoo movement

idk
you were too busy playing wonderwall at shitty basement parties i guess
wait
what was that tool thing you were talking about before?

it was bonfires, thank you very much

so apparently I can sort of
remake shit, I don't know how to describe it
change a quarter to a nail, change the shape of a screwdriver or a wrench
turn something into something else

that doesn't sound like the coolest power, but in my line of work it's actually insanely useful

no, that sounds cool
can you change the kazoo?

I can, actually
check it out

image_01.jpg

it sounds like shit but considering what it is I think that means I did it right

this is the best thing that's happened to me since i've been stuck in this stupid fucking sim

@kyna.medina

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