This? This isn't trying. It's nothing. Back home, we used to...

[The thought stops there. Frisk knows, probably, so. No need to finish it. A voice full of laughter and delight caught on an old video tape.

C'mon, quit tricking me!

Now you're smiling for noooo reason!

Bygones. Chara looks at the soft, downy mess on the floor, starts dragging feathers out of their hair and dropping them on the floor too. Guess who's cleaning this up, Frisk?]

I'm pretty sure this one used the sort of mechanisms you'd see in puzzles, though. A pressure-based switch, a launching mechanism. It's genuinely a lot more effort than I thought he'd go to.

Means to an end, Frisk. Had to get into Sans' room somehow to really set up the good ones.

...That said, he's startlingly good at this, too. Must be a puzzle thing.

[They had no idea the mighty force of prankitude they were tapping into when they roped Papyrus into this. Even Chara thinks they might almost sort of vaguely be close to impressed. Maybe.]

Frisk. Allow me to share with you a rare moment of clarity and insight.

I sort of have this thing I do. Wherein I bite off more than I can chew. March casually and unflinchingly directly off a cliff and laugh the whole way down. Face God and walk backwards into hell.

[In other words: yes. They've poured a bunch of Mentos into the can of Diet Coke worms. This metaphor is hideous, but you get the idea.]

But. ...Are you having fun?

[Chara isn't stopping to think about whether they're having fun (are they?) with other people who are also having fun (with Chara?!), but if Frisk is enjoying themselves, then that's plenty. They can admit, at the very least, that they're a force that does best when it has some kind of task to channel all that determined nervous energy into.

It's a reason to get out of bed at all, even if it's kind of a petty and stupid one. It's better than staring at a blank list.]

And to think you thought he was going to be mad. You thought he was going to beat us silly, didn't you?

Not on purpose! I thought it'd just cover the glass in ketchup!

[Chara's pretty used to setting things up as stuff they'll laugh about later. Buttercups instead of butter! He's a boss monster, he's the strongest guy in the Underground, he'll think it's hilarious when he gets better, right? But actually reaching the part where you laugh about it is... new and kind of refreshing.]

You should've run too, though. I doubt he could ketchup with us even if he did get mad.

[Chara looks up, which... obviously does not let them see the feathers in their own hair. Their rosy cheeks go rosier as they get the hint, though, and they start ruffling their hands through their hair wildly. Which is to say, uh, in a very elegant and controlled manner, and not at all like an embarrassed gremlin. Everything Chara does is elegant, clearly, obviously.]

I already have the perfect plan.

[Plans, of course, definitely being something you want Chara to have. Their track record with plans is awesome.]

We take his slippers and freeze them in ice.

[...Belatedly:]

Ketchup in the toothpaste is a pretty heinous idea, though. Let's file that one away.

[Credit where credit is due. Imagine pulling that on Undyne or someone! Sans would get the blame for it for sure.]

Use your imagination, Frisk. It's about the most straightforward thing in the world. Papyrus gets us into Sans' room, we get every pair of slippers we find, we cram them into the flimsiest tupperware we can find. Fill them with water, freeze overnight, dump the ice blocks in his room in the morning.

[They start pacing as they explain, holding one of the feathers shaken out of their hair like a schoolteacher's ruler or a drill sergeant's pace stick. Except, you know, very tiny and very soft.

They're probably getting carried away with this. It was probably a Sign of Things To Come that they insisted on calling this sinister alliance Team Satan.]

...You don't think we'll have to freeze the socks, do you? Does he even wear them, or just leave them lying around?

Right. You're right. He's exactly the kind of gross that would walk around in dirty socks. Suppose we put them in the closet, then? We can put the closet out of commission, surely.

[Even that should be easy. A temporary setback at best, especially for someone who has magic and lasers and can teleport, but a little glue, or a big metal bar riveted over it, or... or...

Okay, overthinking. They stride over to their own closet, mutter a request under their breath, produce a bike lock. Glance over at the little tag with the combination on it, then rip it off.]

962. Think he'll guess that?

Obviously, Frisk. But if we cut him off from his closet for real, then we'll definitely get the belt.

[They're not scared of Sans' anger, because anger takes effort. You know. Except when they are scared of it.

Which. Uh. Is never. Chara is scared of nothing and nobody, because they are the most vicious thing in that entire world.]

But, hey, if you want to encase it in cement or cast a barrier that needs seven SOULs to break, then go ahead. Free country.

What? No he won't.

[Right?]

It's different when we do it. You're there, and Papyrus is there. He doesn't have anything worth snooping in, anyway, so he knows we're not doing anything shady.

[Right???]

[They're breaking apart the feather in their hands, separating the individual interlocking... strands? Veins? They don't know what the parts are called. They just snap the stem of it instead, rip it into pieces.]

Does he... does he even know which side is yours and which is mine?

[Secretly, they're trying very hard to only be worried about this for prank reasons, and not for Grown Man Stealing Silently Into Their Room While They Sleep reasons, because they... have most definitely brought this pranking hell onto themselves, and everyone's actually having fun for once.]

I mean, if it's dark, and we're under blankets... we sort of do look alike, right?

It's not like... I mean, I don't sleep with my eyes open. We probably look way more similar if you can't see the red.

[They dump the broken feather on the floor with all the others. Steeple their fingers and take a deep breath.

It's fine. This is fine. It's just pranks, only pranks, so... they glance at Frisk and smile.]

Frisk. Do you recall what I said about having to make sacrifices for the greater good?