controlledvariable | exsilium; ic inbox

hey

i thought i'd check and see how you're doing after the last time we talked

if you don't want to answer this that's fine

[There isn't an answer for a little while; it's not like she isn't planning too, it's just been A Day, between seeing Max and Collette's post and talking to Ellie.

So much for getting some rest.

And then she just has to take some time mulling over her reply. She keeps trying to keep up the "everything's okay" act around Ahiru, despite how often she fails it, and she knows that part of it is some misguided sense that she needs to protect the girl.

Which isn't fair. Ahiru is sweet, but she's not naive, and she's definitely not stupid.

She goes for honesty:]

i'm not really doing okay right now, a lot happened in the past few days that wasn't all that great.

but i'll be okay again soon, thank you for checking up on me. you've been here for me a lot lately and i really appreciate that.

how are you?

[There's both sadness and relief; a sense of disappointment that someone she cares for is going through something tough, but she's glad, as well, that she can trust Steph to talk to her if something's going wrong. After reading over the message, she decides to start with what's easiest to address.]

i'm good

[She pauses before writing the rest of the message, thinking of the best thing to say.]

i'm sorry to hear that and i hope you can find a way to resolve it soon :( if there's anything you need help with or you just need to talk it through with someone or do something to cheer yourself up you can count on me.

don't mention it :)

i'm glad someone is

[Snd she genuinely means that; it's nice to know that not everyone has been dragged by this, that there are some people who made it through okay.

(It's one less thing to worry about, too, but that feels a bit selfish.)]

some of it's just gonna take time, the rest might be a little trickier, but i have good friends who are trying to help. including you :) thank you for the offers, i might take you up on those sometime

even if it's tricky i believe in you :) you'll get through this no matter what! i'm glad you have good people to help you out but like i said don't mention it, that's what friends are for

[It's still hard to believe that stuff, but she thinks about what Sonya said and tries to not dismiss it, at least.

It's a start.

Now it's time to tease a little:]

i'll mention it all i want thank you very much!

maybe i'll even put some graffiti on the walls or something, just so everyone knows

"ahiru is awesome"

it'd liven this place up a bit

well i guess that's okay then! :) thank you for asking how i was too

hahaha steph no! graffiti is not a good idea

you're welcome

why not! i think it's an important message that's worth defacing public property for

not many messages are worth defacing stuff and i don't think that's one of them

ahiru i'll let you in on a secret

pretty much any message is worth defacing stuff for

[she totally used to hang out with peole who'd graffiti abandoned buildings and shit what of it.]

STEPH people worked hard on those buildings! you could get caught

[But if the words had any tone behind them, it would be amusement rather than disapproval.]

they're just buildings! it doesn't hurt them and it makes them look nicer

anyway

i never get caught

i think the looking better thing depends on how good you are at it

which means you're going to have to prove it once we're back on earth... :)

you're on, i'll even pick up the spray paint on a mission just to make sure

Edited 2013-11-22 16:36 (UTC)

[Best influence.]

just as long as it's not one somebody uses a lot

[Next thing she'll teach Ahiru how to pick locks.]

i'm thinking about getting my own place once we're back down there, maybe i could do one of my own walls

[okay no

she's not that good.]

oh you are? why's that

i miss having my own space

and i don't really wanna do the whole "new roomies" thing again, with jim and ellie gone.

that makes sense

i'm sorry about ellie :( what was jim like? i don't think i ever got to know him

it's okay, i'm glad she wasn't here for all this

[She doesn't even know how Ellie would have taken it.]

he was kind of a hot mess to be honest but he was a good guy. he was closer to ellie than me and he was also good to her even if could be a jerk to everyone else. and he made sure we had the spaceship up and running, so that was nice of him

[promptly ignores every bad thing]

he sounds like a good person. i'm glad you got to stay with someone like him

[never change, ahiru]

yeah i'm glad, too, i miss him a little bit, but i think he's better off at home

yeah

i think one of the best things about being here is getting to meet so many people i never would have had the chance to otherwise

that's definitely the best part, yeah

[gross]

good enough that it's worth having to go through the bad things, or at least i think so

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