[Hey, that sure looks like one of the guys from the cover of the book. Or at least fairly similar to him.

He looks rather harried and unhappy, hair disheveled, a wild look to his eyes.]

This book is madness. What has overcome these people? They keep trying to grab me in the streets. I'm--

[A pause as he roughly manhandles someone squealing "OH EM GEE IT'S EARTH!!"] I am not the one you seek! Leave me alone!

[And back to the viewing public] To the others who actually are featured in that... waste of paper... it may be better to lay low.