LAST TIME: Oh, goody! A true rune! That will make my life much better and not at all give me lots of angst about! I mean, look at Tir! He's doing well, right? ... ... ...

Hi, Muse!
STATE SOLDIER: "Huh? Where do you think you're going?"
: "We're friends of Viktor, the mercenary leader. We told him we'd meet up with him here. Let us in."
STATE SOLDIER: "Sorry, but no one comes in without an entry permit. We have to watch out for Highland spies!!!" And our Highland accents probably won't help, huh.
: "Hey, are you calling us spies?" It's a common accusation against us, huh.
: [ walks in front of Jowy and Odessa ] "Come on, let's not lose our tempers. Leave it to Nanami."
Nanami walks over to the soldier and puts one foot in front of the other and her hands behind her back, probably to accentuate her cleavage and add a little bounce. This would probably work better if Nanami didn't have the cleavage of a martial artist.
She keeps bouncing and waving her head, so this doesn't really get across the sheer '... you are not Rina' of the situation.
: "Listen, we have to meet an old grump named Viktor. C'mon just let us in, okay?"
STATE SOLDIER: "Don't be ridiculous. Now buzz off, little pug-nose."
: [ backs up ] "What?! What did you just call me!?"
STATE SOLDIER: "I called you pug-nose, shrimp! Now buzz off!"
: [ ! backs up, leans forward, clenching her fists ] "Sh... shrimp? Say that again and.... you'll be sorry!" Thank you, Nanami, now we're definitely getting through customs.
STATE SOLDIER, showing an admirable lack of common sense: "Shut up, you frog faced whiny little tomboy!!"
: [ startled ] "Frog faced.... whiny... .... tomboy....." [ JUMPS, RAISING HER ARMS, THEN BOUNCES IN PLACE, FUMING ] "Grrrrrrr!!!!....... I'll rip your lips off! You're history!"
Jowy and Odessa move up to grab Nanami before she can pull weapons on the guy and leave a bruised lump where the state soldier used to be.
: "W... wait!!! Nanami stop!!!"
And they drag her off to the bottom of the screen.
: "Let me go!!! I'll kill him!!!"
They let go.
: "C'mon!!! Stay out of my way!!!"
: [ sweatdrop ] "It won't help to yell at the guard. And it's not as if we're part of Viktor's army. The guard has no reason to believe us. But we can't just give up.... We've got to find another way."

You know what's definitely relevant to getting into Muse? Going to Greenhill.
Greenhill-Muse border guard: "Ah, in such peaceful times, the life of a checkpoint guard is a pleasure."

It takes me a minute to remember why I want to check: I wanted to check the Greenhill-Matilda border to see if something like this happens: a Matilda white knight goes "You are entering the domain of the Knights of Matilda. If you have no official business, I must ask you leave."

And then I barge into Matilda to get our hero up to level 40 so he'd get his forehead rune slot and to raise up Shiro, and then I check the Muse-Highland border for no particular reason. One of the guards goes "Beyond here is Highland. Sorry, it's the times we live in."

A bit east of Muse is the White Deer Inn.
こんばんは、ヒルダさん！
: "Hello! Welcome to the White Deer Inn. The beds are clean and breakfast is included."
: ? "You picked a strange place to open an inn, didn't you?"
: [ nervous ] "Well, umm... maybe. But you'd be surprised how many people stay here. Well, shall I show you to your room?"
She starts walking to the stairs, and then a man runs in! She's startled.
: "Hey! Hilda. Hilda!"
: [ nervous ] "Wh...what are you so excited about....?"
: "I did it, Hilda! Be happy! I finally found the way to the treasure. It was just like I thought. I knew there was something funny about those ruins."
Hilda is nervous; Alex is confused.
: "What? You should be happier. We can finally say goodbye to this failure of an inn!!!" NOT IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS, ALEX
: "W... wait a minute, Alex....."
: "I've got to get some help. It's dangerous in there. Well, I bet I can find some city people to help out. I'll find you a jewel so big you won't even be able to carry it. We're gonna be rich, Hilda!" Well, can't help you about city people, but what about some rural Highlanders? ... And east Muses. (Unfortunately Clieo is still in Gregminster.)
: "Alex.... please. Don't do anything dangerous... The treasure is probably just a rumor. Please.... I don't want you to...."
: "What are you talking about, Hilda. I'm doing this for you!" [walks out] "Anyway, I'm going to find some people to help."
: "That man..... Oh, excuse me."
: "That's okay. Was that your husband?"
: "Yes, he's obsessed with treasure hunting... I don't know what to do. Well, shall I show you to your room?"
Fade out.

[BGM: Beautiful Morning] I KNOW THE TIME WAS COMING THIS DAY IN THE MORNING LIKE THIS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY o/~
Pilika walks in as the boys are sleeping.
Nanami gets up!
: "Aaah, I slept well. We've been camping out for so long."
Nanami whistles innocently.
... and sidles into Riou's bed.
'Wait, someone is touching me.'
'Nanami, why are you in my bed?'
And then Nanami keeps shoving him until he gets up.
: "ZZZZZZZ......."
Pilika walks a bit over.
: "Jowy is oversleeping again. When is he gonna wake up? Odessa, should we throw water on him again?" I bet the smell of your cooking would do. Also heee just spotted Humphrey sitting in bed in the other room. Or I assume he's sitting; he's awake and his head's up a lot higher than Jowy's.
I bet Pilika can solve this.
Now she is under Jowy's blankets.
Jowy rolls over.
and then is confused.
: "Huh...........? Ooh... huh... is it morning??"
Jowy steps out of bed, realises Pilika was in it, sweatdrops.
Fade out, they're downstairs.
: "Everyone, did you sleep well?"
: "We had a wonderful time. Dinner was wonderful, too."
: "We hope you'll come again soon."
: "We'd love to. Okay, let's go, Odessa."

In the room is a little boy in purple with a unique sprite (but no portrait) named Pete.
PETE: "Hey, are you going to Muse? I used to live there when I was real little."

I start stepping outside and Alex runs into me, then paces a bit.
: "...................."
: [ nervous ] "Alex."
She walks over to him from behind the counter.
: "What's wrong?"
: "Damn! Those city folk! Nobody believed me.... They even called me a liar!! Damn!"
: [ sidles up ] "Alex........ We don't need treasure, right?"
Our group walks over to them.
: "What are you saying, Hilda? This time I've really found the way to the treasure. I want to give you a good life.... Not in the backwoods like this. We could open an inn in Muse."
: ! "Excuse me, when you said 'those city folk', did you mean the citizens of Muse?"
: "Yeah, so what?"
: "Umm... so does that mean you have an entry permit?"
: "Yeah. These days you can't get in without an entry permit."
: "So ummm..... do you think you could maybe lend it to us???"
Jowy sweatdrops.
: "We need to get into Muse and the guard won't let us in....."
: "......... Hmmmmmm."
Alex walks around, looking at the group, then makes a decision.
: "Okay. I'll make you an offer. You guys help me look for treasure, and I'll lend you my entry permit. How about it?"
Hilda's a tad nervous about it.
: "Sounds interesting. We'll help."
: "Great! We're off to search for treasure!!"
: "......................" Such a stick in the mud.
: "Good. We'll go right away!! .... while we can."
Alex walks over to Pilika.
: "....................."
: "We can't take this little girl. Hilda, will you watch this kid. Maybe she could play with Pete."
: "Oh.... that's no problem. But dear, I really wish you wouldn't do this..."
: "Don't worry. It'll be fine."
: "Please.... be careful."
: [ walks over to Pilika ] "Pilika, be a good girl. Odessa and I will be back soon." What about Nanami?
: "................................"
: "Okay. Now we're ready. The ruins are towards the back of this inn. Let's go."
: "Darling.... please be careful."
[ Pilika left the party. ]
[ Alex joins convoy ]
Yeah, he's useless.

Hilda says "Don't do anything crazy." and doesn't charge to use the inn.


: "This is it. Take a look at this relief." I'm currently looking at the naked lady statues, actually. Gods those are creepy.
Jowy is startled, then walks over to the thing in front of Alex between the naked women.
: "Is this inscription in Sindarin?"
: "Yes. These ruins were left by the lost race of the Sindar."
: [ boing boing ] "Wow Jowy, you're so smart! How did you know that?" As a guess, because the only time you'll find ruins that aren't Sindarin is when you're in Falena, where you might find Armes ruins under your standard-issue Sindar plastic.
: [ walks down ] "No, it's no big deal..... I just saw it in one of the books in my father's study."
: "I've been researching this for years. I finally learned the secret of these ruins a few days ago." What, that if you press the button, the door opens?
He presses a thing on it and the doors open.
: "This is it. I knew these weren't normal ruins. Listen, there might be monsters in there, so let's go forward cautiously."
I wonder what he means by 'normal ruins'. The ones like in III and V where they only open with true runes?

[BGM: Penpe 2]

: "Which is it...."
The door opens with a click.


I'm glossing over this dungeon because it's stupid.




Broken doors.

: [ upon closing the sluice gates by putting a triangular peg in a triangular hole ] "This is quite a mechanism. The water is draining out. There might be more places we can investigate now."

Save point.

: "It looks like this is it."
: "This is where the treasure is?"
: "Yeah, that's right. There's Sindarin writing here."
: [turns to it] "Traveller, all that you desire, all that you dream for, all that is most dear to you is here if your heart is true..."
: "'All that is most dear', huh. I wonder what that could be. I guess for me it's Grandpa Genkaku, but he's dead...."
: "Yeah.... I guess there aren't so many things that are 'most dear' to me....."

: "Everyone."
: "Odessa too? Yeah, I guess that's number one ... maybe." Jowy goes like 'Really Riou?' if you say fame and dots if you say gold.
: "Hey, are you crazy? It said 'most dear'. It's gotta be treasure, right?"
The door opens.
: "Yes! I did it! Finally the treasure of my dreams!!!"

: "Finally I'll find the treasure of my dreams."
: [ ping! ] "Alex! Wait!! Odessa!! Nanami!! Be careful!! Something's there!!!"
WILD PENIS SNAKE APPEARED
It is called Double Head.
Jowy's spells on Black Sword are Flash Judgment, Twinkling Blade, Piercing One, and Hungry Friend. Hungry Friend involves a ton of swords coming out of nowhere to explode on the snake and it's pretty. It's also not a mistranslation or a typo: it really should be something along the lines of Hungry Friend. In Japanese it's どん欲なる友, if you're curious.
... I kind of just killed that boss in one round. Herp derp. And got a spark rune!

: "Whew..... what was that? The guardian of the treasure?"
: "Let's just say it was part of the ruins left by the Sindar."
: "But it's okay. We took care of it."

We walk up to the treasure! Nanami's stuck behind everyone else and keeps trying to come up to see.
: "Here it is...... The treasure...... finally........"
: "Huh? What? What? C'mon let me see too!"
: "Now.... now I can finally buy Hilda some nice clothes...... We'll buy some good food for Pete too...."
: "Hey! C'mon. C'mon. Hurry and open it!!!"
: "Okay! Here goes."
He opens it!
: "............ What's this? ...."
: "What is it? What? What? I can't seeeeeee!!!"
[ You found 'healing herb'. ]
: "What is this??? What's 'most dear' about this?... I can't believe it!!! Damn.......... I thought I'd finally found it..."
: "Alex...... Forget the treasure. Let's go back. Maybe...... there never was a treasure."
: "That's right. Cheer up. Hilda's waiting for you."
: "............... You're right........ At least this will make a good story...."
[ You got Healing herb ]
: "Let's go, Odessa."

: "Okay."
: [turns around a bit] "Okay, let's go!!!"
And I escape talisman out.

We're back next to the naked women statues.
: "I promised Hilda all those things... and all I got was 'healing herbs'..." [ looks to the side ] "I'm too embarrassed to go back..." I wandered around a Sindar ruin for hours and all I got was this lousy key item.
He drops the herbs, then kicks them to the side.

: "Hilda... she's going to be mad."
: "Don't worry. Don't worry. I don't think that's true. C'mon let's go back."
: "Okay....."
: [ pinged, then steps closer ] "Well anyway, we really helped out hunting for the treasure. You don't forget our promise."
: "Aa...aaaah......"

Our hero thinks the statues with boobs are 'Strange'.

I walk inside the inn and Hilda is nowhere to be seen.
: "Hilda..... I'm back....."
Pilika and Pete come running in, bouncing!
: ".............................."
PETE: [nervous] "Mommy.... Mommy...."
: [ ? ]
[BGM: Sedition]
: "Pete, what is it???" Camera move to ...
Hilda on the floor unconscious.
: "Hilda!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone runs over.
: "H... Hilda. Hilda!! What's wrong!!!!!"
: "Out of my way." ... I like that she's the only one with a brain.
Nanami kneels by her head.
: "!!!!!!!!!!!! Get a bed ready!!!!! Alex, carry Hilda over there!!! Odessa, get some water!!! Jowy, go call a doctor!" Jowy is freaked out by being asked to do anything and bounces. "Hurry!!!!!" Oh, Nanami turns to whoever she's talking to.
: "I... I.... I.... eh? O... okay. I got it!!!"
Jowy runs off.
: "Hurry and carry her to the bed!!" I just typed her name as Nananami. I just thought you should know. I know how to spell Nanami but I don't know when to stop.
Fade out.

Hilda is in a bed; Pete and Pilika are on one ide, while Nanami, Alex, and our hero are on the other. Alex is nervous.
: "Is... is Hilda going to be all right?"
: [walks closer to her] "She's burning up. I've never seen anyone this hot. We've got to do something."
: "Like... like what....?"
: [pause.] "We've got to get her fever down."
PETE: [walks closer to Hilda] "Mommy......"
: [pause.] "When's Jowy going to get back... I hope he hurries....." Huan and Tuta are very busy.
: "There are no doctors around here... We usually go to Toto, but..." [ looks out the window ] "Damn.... why....."
: "What should we do?....." Pot!

So I run off to grab it.
[ You got Healing herb ]

: "If we don't get this fever down..."
[ ... talks to her again. ]
: "Where did you go, Odessa? Huh? What? 'Healing herbs'?" [ ! ] "That's right!! Those 'healing herbs' from before!!!" It was like five minutes ago.
: ".... 'Healing herbs'? You don't mean.... Those herbs from the ruins? You think that'll work?" It's not like they've been there for hundreds of years or anything.
: "I don't know...... it might.... It is the treasure of the Sindar, isn't it?"
Fade out.

No music.
: "Hilda...... It's medicine, eat it..... You'll feel better...... Please..... Hilda....."
: "............"
: "..........................."
PETE: "M.... Mommyyyyyy........"
: "Uuuhhh......"
: ! "H.... Hilda......"
[ BGM: Heart Softening Music 1]
: "Huh..........? Alex...............?"
: "Hilda! Hilda!!"
: "W.... welcome back..... Alex. I'm glad you're... safe...."
PETE: "Mommy!!!...."
: [backs up.] "Hilda..... I'm sorry......"
Hilda goes ?, Nanami walks over.
: "Which is it............" [ ! ] "Wow! It really worked. She seems fine now. Her fever is totally gone."
: "Hilda..... I'm sorry...... You were right. There was no treasure...."
: "Well.... you can still keep looking."
: ".......... but..."
: "Oh...... that's too bad..... I had a dream that you came home with your hands full of treasure. But it's nice just to have you back safe and sound. Please... please don't do anything dangerous again."
: "Hilda......."
: "Oh. Please don't cry. A grown man shouldn't cry." Shut up 8| He can cry if he want to!
: [ runs in ] "Huff huff huff huff... I... I'm sorry, huff huff.... I looked all over...... huff... but I couldn't find a doctor....." ? "............ Huh?"
: [ walks over to Jowy ] "........................"
: "It looks like... she's all better."
: [ sweatdrop. ] "....................."
Fade out.

: "Thank you so much."
: "Hilda, it looks like you're feeling well again."
: "Yes. Completely."
: "Here's the entry permit. You can return it anytime."
[ You got Entry Permit ]
: "Okay, hopefully we'll see you again soon."
: "Come and stay anytime. Your money is no good here."
: [boing boing boing] "Thanks. Let's go, Odessa, Jowy. Now we can get into Muse."
: "But is it okay? This... this is Alex's, right?"
: "Don't worry. Don't worry. Let's go!!!"

AND WE DO.

[BGM: Let's Climb This Hill]
Here we are outside of Muse.
: "Okay, stop here a second. We can all get in with the entry permit we borrowed from Alex."
: [sweatdrop] "Is this really going to work...." Yes.
: [boing boing] "We don't know unless we try." * Nanami is now known as Sieg. And since Sieg is short for Siegfried, I'm now thinking of Mytho from Princess Tutu. Mmm, raven Nanami.
: "Okay then.... I'll be Hilda. Odessa is Alex and.... Jowy, you're Pete. The rest of you just hush." That sure will be hard for Humphrey and Shiro.
: [nervous] "Wait a minute, Nanami. Pete is Alex and Hilda's son, right? How am I supposed to.... Why doesn't Pilika do it?" Okay, Jowy. You can be Hilda, Riou is Alex, and Nanami is Pete. We brought a dress just for the occasion. Humphrey will help you do your hair.
: "Pilika is a girl, you dummy. Kind of hard to believe, don't you think?"
: "Oh yeah, and it's real believable that I'm your son. Right." It sure is.
: [boing boing] "Don't worry, it'll work. Let's go."
: [nervous] "C'mon. Odessa say something. Please."

: "Let's go, Pete."
: [sweatdrop] "Odessa............"
: "Okay, here goes."

Talking to the guard...

STATE SOLDIER: "What do you want? Nobody gets in without an entry permit."
Nanami steps up, turned to the side and with a hand by her face, laughing.
: "Ho ho. OUR entry permit? How amusing.... TAKE a LOOK at THIS." Nanami uses watakushi for this sequence rather than her usual atashi. She also starts everything with 'ohohohoho' and ends sentences with 'wa ne'.
STATE SOLDIER: "...................... Let's take a look." [steps up, then back] "Hmmmm.......... Which one of you is Alex?"

: "Who's who?"
Nanami walks over.
I go ?
ELBOW TO THE GUT and our hero is shoved to the front. Jowy sweatdrops; Nanami laughs in her I AM A MATURE WOMAN pose.
: "Ho ho. This is Alex, young man."
STATE SOLDIER: "................. Okay, so who's Hilda?"
: [walks up front and poses] "Ho ho ho. I am Hilda, young man."
STATE SOLDIER: "................. Okay, where is Pete?"
: [nervous.] "Err, ummmm......
HAVE AN ELBOW, MY DEAR JOWY. Jowy stays in the back.
: "I, umm, errr.... I'm Pete."
STATE SOLDIER: "...................... You're Pete???!!!" [boing boing] "There's something funny about you guys!!!!!!"
He jumps and blows a whistle and the music stops.
Six guards run out and surround us.
STATE SOLDIER: "Take them into custody."
: "Huh! Why?!......"
Fade to black.

STATS:

- PEOPLE WITH FACES MET: Alex, Hilda
- Jowy Points: 8 - 1 (everyone is MAYBE most important to him) - 3 (not actually trying to act) = 4
- Game Overs: 2 total
- Bathrooms: 0

NEXT TIME: 8( I always did want to be arrested.