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TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

Have a little too much to drink last night and send that embarrassing text to your ex?

Did you party a little too hard and send pictures of the wild night... to all of your contacts?

Was 3am when you dusted off the number of that old flame and confessed how much you wanted them back?

Or simply catching up on the adventures that drunk you got into?

Just because heaven is a place on earth at San Junipero doesn't mean it's without any consequence. Be careful checking your phone in the morning, it might have some weird texts from last night.

MAY BE NSFW

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

corve

1. got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
2. come back. shots need mouths.
3. i know i swore i wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
4. i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
5. [ choose your own adventure ]

From:

You're so dumb.

From:

corve

you've got two minutes, parrish. or i'm taking all of them myself.

From:

Haven't you had enough to drink already?

From:

corve

ask yourself this question:
have i ever had enough to drink?

a minute and thirty seconds.

From:

Yes but you never think so.

Just bring them to me.

From:

corve

i'd know best, wouldn't i?

i'm not carrying shots from the bar to you. i don't have enough hands for that shit.

From:

Not really.

You're the worst.

From:

corve

You wish that was true.

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unaffluent - Date: 2017-05-02 07:27 am (UTC) - Expand

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corve - Date: 2017-05-02 07:50 am (UTC) - Expand

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From:

The standards are quite low but yes, a little.

From:

corve

what are you talking about? i think that's a major fucking accomplishment.

From:

It is really not.

From:

corve

then why did i have such a boring night for, then?

From:

Not doing those things doesn't have to mean have a boring night.

From:

corve

and what do you consider a fun night?

From:

There's plenty of things that can be a fun night!

From:

corve

like...?

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powerpose - Date: 2017-05-04 08:53 am (UTC) - Expand

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From:

fucking_kavinsky

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From:

corve

were you trying to break your personal record?

From:

fucking_kavinsky

if u think 38 is anywhere close to that then youve got a lot of long nights ahead of u

From:

corve

have you thought about getting a hobby?

From:

fucking_kavinsky

bitch, have u heard of multitasking??

From:

corve

you mean this doesn't require all of your brainpower to do?

From:

fucking_kavinsky

u see
its been a while so i htink u forget

im the smartest person u know

From:

corve

you see
it's been a while so i think you're fucking delusional.

you're not the smartest person i know.

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